Gentlemen (7 First Date Tips From a Lady)

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Boys, call me old fashioned but it pays to be a gentleman. Here are some tips for how to impress on the first date.

  • Ask her out – Don’t be creepy about it and be prepared for her to say no, but what’s the worst that could happen? If you never ask, you’ll probably never know if she’s interested.
  • Have a plan – If you bother to get up the courage to ask her out, you should have an idea of something you could do together and you should pay for it. I personally have no problem splitting the bill or paying every now and then. I’m a successful metallurgical engineer at a global steel company after all. But if you ask me out, you’d better pay for the first date. Also, no woman wants to be asked on a date and then be expected to plan the thing herself. For example, don’t ask her to the movies unless you have a specific theater and film in mind. The objective of the first date is simply to determine if you would both be interested in a second date so it really doesn’t matter what you pick.
  • Get her flowers – This isn’t strictly necessary but I promise she will remember the guy that gave her flowers.
  • Dress nice – We live in a casual world but that’s no excuse. Wear the button down shirt, no ripped jeans. If you absolutely can’t bear the agony of a buttoned shirt for a couple of hours then at least go for something with a collar, a nice polo maybe. Put in a little effort. You know she’s going to.
  • Hold the door – You’re not saying she can’t do it on her own. You’re just being polite and chivalrous and she’ll notice. 
  • Walk on the street side – Did you know that guys used to do this not only as a politely protective gesture but also to prevent dirty puddle splashback from the street from ruining her finery? Arguable, this is not necessary in the world we live in. You don’t have to but it’s the extra little mile that shows you care.
  • Don’t talk exes – I’ve never gone on a first date hoping for an opportunity to trash talk my ex. This is more second or third date material. It’s often easier to get conversation flowing with shared grievances but try to avoid the ex conversation on the first date. You don’t want your first bonding experience to be about the idiot she was with before. 

Ladies – With all of that said, if you want him to treat you like a queen, act like one. Be gracious, be kind, dress nice (this goes for you too). It’s fine to expect him to pay for the first date but if you do, don’t argue when the bill comes. Let him be the man and pick up the check and thank him for dinner. 

The first date should really be a conversation and conversation is a two way street. No matter who you are, you should do your best to hold up your end. It’s fine to be nervous and shy but don’t expect the other person to carry the conversation. They might be just as nervous. So shake off those nerves and embrace your inner social butterfly. Things will go much more smoothly if you do.

Don’t expect fireworks on the first date. That doesn’t mean that magic can’t or won’t happen but typically these things are awkward and a little uncomfortable. You’re both vetting each other as potential relationship material. Of course it’s going to be weird. Be kind. Forgive them and forgive yourself. Don’t put too much pressure on the first date.